FIRST YOU MUST CHOOSE…
Do you know what you want out of life? If you get to choose and, in my opinion, we all get to choose much more than people typically realize, do you have clarity about what you want? What if you “want” things that are not good for you? Sometimes this can even be difficult to discern. The second serving of dessert might be an obvious bad choice, but not everything in life is that transparent. And what about other people, how do they figure into the equation in the choices that you make? Life is complicated but don’t be dismayed, decision making can be simplified. If you hold rigidly to simple principles and intentions based in universal balance while maintaining flexibility with everything else you can’t go wrong. So choose wisely!
To choose wisely means to choose that which is in your highest good, the highest good of humanity and the highest good of life on earth. This may sound like a lofty goal and you can’t possibly know what is in the best interest of everyone on the planet. But, if you adhere to basic universal principles you can be assured that your choices will be in the highest good of all. Nature is on your side with this one. If you stay on your evolutionary path, you will be set to overcome all the challenges that life throws at you and provokes within you. You will have the full force of nature backing you. Simply exercise conscious choice to stay balanced on your own path and take ownership of all your choices.
CHOOSE TO ACTUALIZE – NATURE HAS YOUR BACK
Human beings are naturally on a trajectory of self actualization. From the point of conception, when the physical manifestation begins, your human nature is a powerful force propelling you to actualize, as readily as a flower’s nature is propelling it to blossom. In the perfect stillness of the moment and “all time”, it has all already occurred at the point of conception. It simply needs the unfolding of time to be experienced.
There was a belief circulating some years ago that only a small percentage of people were set to self actualize. This was a disservice to humanity as truly everyone is born to actualize their potential. Another disservice was perpetuated by a number of charlatans pushing the promise of self actualization as a money making scheme that provided quite the opposite of self actualization for its participants.
Self actualization will occur as a matter of course unless there are forces to inhibit it. Forces can come from your external environment or from within you. As you confront different forces, each encounter will have a different impact. The impact can either support your natural evolution to self actualize or it can inhibit it. The focus here is on the inhibitory forces. An inhibitory force can be destructive or it can block access to your needs.
An inhibitory force that is destructive, reverses your energy from its naturally creative flow to one that is damaging. For an external environment example, have you ever been in a good mood and on a productive track when you encountered someone who was not, only to find yourself pulled into an agitated state engaging in unproductive discord with the person? An inhibiting force that blocks will create a barrier on your path. It will compromise access to the resources that you need to survive and thrive in life. To give another external environment example, have you ever been full speed ahead when someone said something that stopped you dead in your tracks and made you feel punched in the gut, cut off at the knees or that it was impossible to proceed? Abusive relationships are full of these encounters.
While you may not be able to override all of the inhibitory forces, outside of you within your environment, the universe is endlessly creative and where there is a will, there is usually a way. There are enough resources for you to actualize within your environment, trust this and be open to discovering where the available resources are. Consciously engage the universe in partnership. It is the true nature of the connection and there is no better co creator to have a relationship with than the universe .
Then there are the inhibitory forces that come from within you impeding your self actualization. There is the internalized conditioning that creates a destructive flow. Note, there is also conditioning that supports one’s evolution but that is not the focus here. And there are the self imposed limitations that block your access to the abundance of inner resources available to you. These barriers are completely within your ability to overcome, but you must consciously choose to do so. Once again you can see how important free will choice is to your evolution and the realization of your personal potential. If you keep your focus on actualizing who you are within the tenets of intending highest good for all then you will stay in the creative flow and forward movement of your evolutionary path.
AND THEN YOU MUST DARE TO LIVE…
Life necessitates courage as it occurs within the constantly changing arrangement of the time-space continuum. Living authentically in universal balance may be simple in principle and it is backed with powerful forces but it is not at all easy at times to stay the course with consciousness and vulnerability. As a starting point for this I am providing a list of traits of a self actualized person for you to emulate. This is followed by a discussion of how to overcome fear and transform your fear mechanism to make it work for you rather than against you. Irrational fear is the biggest inhibitor to your life that you have 100% ability to overcome. Fear is core to most self imposed limitations in life. Overcoming your fears is like granting yourself freedom to fully live.
LIVE BY THESE FIVE OBJECTIVES THAT SELF ACTUALIZED PEOPLE LIVE BY
Following is a list of five objectives to live by. I will dive into these objectives in more depth in a few months but I felt the importance of bringing this overview into the discussion. The realization of these objectives are evidenced in self actualized people. They are objectives to live by. Utilize the list to keep this focus. Live within this framework or set of parameters and it will support your own actualization.
- Face reality head on and accept it all.
- Live authentically with equanimity.
- Be creative as you fulfill your life’s purpose.
- Open with wonder & curiosity to life’s possibilities.
- Live by high moral standards and be of service.
SHIFT FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING – TRANSFORM YOUR FEAR
Fear is an authentic part of your human nature. It is a biochemical and emotional response to something that is perceived to be a threat. When there is a real threat to your physical survival or psychological well being then the fear response is rational and protective. But when there is no real threat, then the fear motivated reaction is irrational and it leaves you vulnerable.
Thus, when the threat is real the subsequent action is considered a “response”. This will protect you and propel you on your evolutionary path. And when the threat is not real the subsequent action is considered a “reaction”. This will inhibit your progress. One technique for overcoming your fear is to embrace the mechanism of your fear response and raise your vibration to transform this survival mechanism into one that helps you to thrive.
BEING IN “RIGHT RELATIONSHIP” WITH OTHERS
When others trigger fear in you, do you respond aggressively ready to fight or do you fawn trying to please in order to avoid conflict? People’s fear response to others will fall on the range between the polar opposites of FIGHT — FAWN. Both mechanisms serve to help you to survive in the face of real danger. As with many things in life these mechanisms have the capacity to direct your energy flow in a positive or negative direction. To keep these mechanisms functioning in a balanced way, always generating a positive flow to survive and thrive in life, be proactive about engaging them.
The fight mechanism is important to be able to advocate for oneself and others, to maintain boundaries and express your spunk in life. Whereas the fawn mechanism is what allows you to be of service to others, to compromise and make peace. Engage the positive expressions of these mechanisms on a regular basis. And when you find yourself in the negative reaction to an irrational fear then use these guidelines (in bold text) as an intervention. Simply fill in your own specifics.
STOP FIGHTING WITH … (people, places and things)
START FIGHTING FOR … (highest and greatest good for all)
A turnaround example would be: “I am going to stop fighting with Charlie and start fighting for a cooperative sharing of resources”.
STOP FAWNING TO PREVENT … (what you fear)
START FAWNING TO PROPEL … (highest and greatest good for all)
A turnaround example would be: I am going to stop fawning to prevent Charlie from leaving and I am going to start fawning to propel an increase in my own support system.
BEING IN “RIGHT RELATIONSHIP” TO LIFE
When life triggers fear in you, do you respond by fleeing and running away from the danger or do you freeze, unable to move or act? People’s fear response to life will fall on the range between the polar opposites of FLIGHT — FREEZE. Both mechanisms serve to help you to survive in the face of real danger. And just as the fight and fawn mechanisms have the capacity to direct your energy flow in a positive or negative direction so do these. To keep these mechanisms functioning in a balanced way, always generating a positive flow to survive and thrive in life, be proactive about engaging them.
The flight mechanism is important for perseverance, healthy disengagement and industriousness. Whereas the freeze mechanism is what allows you to be mindful, present and aware. Engage the positive expressions of these mechanisms on a regular basis. And when you find yourself in the negative reaction to an irrational fear then, once again, use these guidelines (in bold text) as an intervention. Simply fill in your own specifics.
STOP FLYING AWAY … (from the challenges in your life)
START FLYING TOWARDS … (the solutions for highest and greatest good for all)
A turnaround example would be: I am going to stop flying away from dealing with my finances by obsessively worrying about money and I am going to start flying towards the steps I need to take for financial security.
STOP FREEZING OUT … (parts of yourself or others to isolate)
START FREEZING IN … (conscious connection with highest and greatest good for all)
A turnaround example would be: I am going to stop freezing out parts of myself by distracting and dissociating and I am going to start freezing in a mindful, steady presence and focus on the task at hand.